It's a Geek Thanksgiving

Since today is a family holiday and everyone is supposed to be having a good time, I will spare folks my political rant in favor of something more fun. Had my clan gathered this year:(, this one of the many sorts of things discussed over the mounds of food.

Best Space Ships in SciFi.

Last week a debate broke out on Fark over the best space ships in SciFi. It was prompted by a rather pedestrian list that appeared on a blog that both limited the ships to movies only and still made some rather glaring omissions.

He also didn't seem to remember that the ship in question in Star Trek IV was a Klingon Bird of Prey, not the Enterprise. Tsk. Tsk.

Now, not being a big book-reading SciFi person, I have to omit any notable space ships from Science Fiction literature (though I would be quite willing to listen to any recommendations) but I can compile a more accurate list from TV and movies than “Enterprise” and “Star Destroyers”.

So in no particular order...

Serenity (Firefly). Serenity is the inheritor of the Millennium Falcon, the run down transport that has been bought/won in a poker game second hand and is now doing work as a smuggler. Always two steps from falling out of the sky, in Wash and Kaylee’s capable hands and with Mal iron will, she could do just about anything.

Starfuries (Babylon Five) are a winner for me because they are what X-Wings should have become if some of the engineers from the Gunstar Project (The Last Starfighter) had come over. Not the fastest of fighters, but with multidirectional thruster assemblies on every projecting arm/wing, they were certainly the most agile. The later Thunderbolt series with the atmospheric airfoils was just completing the circle back to the X-Wings.

Romulan Warbirds (Star Trek: The Next Generation) As my brother once commented long ago, “They’re the Ferraris of the Star Trek Universe.” One always had the sneaking suspicion that any Federation Captain that ever faced down a Romulan Captain secretly thought, “Why does his ship look cooler than mine..?” Plus they come with a cloaking device. Standard.

Enterprise 1701-E (Sovereign Class, Star Trek: TNG Films) The first Enterprise looked like a scrappy little contender. The Enterprise of Next Generation looked like a cruise ship. This enterprise of the last two films looked like it could seriously kick ass and take names. This was the Enterprise I had been waiting for. Too bad she came along so late…and in Berman’s time.

Millennium Falcon (Star Wars IV, V, VI). Can anyone not love this ship? The mechanical expression of Han Solo’s broken down cynic with a hero lurking inside of him, Chewbacca beat them both up (the human metaphorically) in order to bring them back to their noble selves. The Falcon became *the* ship that represented the Star Wars series and the lack of such a redeemed morally-ambiguous curmudgeon character/ship is one of the many reasons why the “Prequel” films failed.

Earth Alliance Destroyers (Babylon Five). In the Babylon Five universe, all the starships seem to be built with an organic feel along these elegant flowing lines. Except the massive, brick-like Earth Alliance cruisers. Huge block of engines in the back, bulky rotating section in the middle with a sledge hammer-like bow and bristling with guns on every surface, this is the realistic progression of “What if we did have to take battleships into space?”

Shadow Vessels (Babylon Five). The living embodiment of pure chaos, damn-near impervious, incredibly destructive and with their own consciousness, the spider-like shadow vessels competes with the Borg cube for most scary starship in SciFi TV. As an audience member, whenever you saw either of these ships, all you could think was “Oh, shit…”

Discovery One (2001). “I’m sorry Dave. I can’t do that.” Ranking up among most iconic of the evil/scary ships, Discovery took Hal and mankind to the thin line between God and science with murder and mayhem making the Discovery’s appearance in 2010 creep-out factor 10.

(Though I have to admit being partial to the Leonov and it's atmospheric braking in 2010.)

Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker Guide to The Galaxy) With infinite improbability drive, no more mucking about in hyperspace. One of the late Douglas Adams more brilliant conceptual creations blending science and philosophy in a nonsensically funny mix, Heart of Gold was one of the reason why the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy took off the way it did. And could any other space ship be classified as Dada-equse?

Borg Vessel (ST:TNG). Resistance is Futile. You could destroy 80% of this vessel, and it would just. Keep. Coming. That’s IF you can actually do that much damage. Considering one Borg ship pretty much wiped out the entire Federation fleet at Wolf 359, chances of that were slim to none. I recently rewatched “Best of Both Worlds” and Q’s gift to the Federation can still send a chill down your spine.

Tardis (Dr. Who). 40+ years in television, they must be doing something right. This concept of the ultimate in time space travel was given the random British twist when it’s “chameleon circuit” was fused so the ship permanently looks like a London Police box...flying through time and space. The concept of it’s interior being much larger than the exterior has made "Tardis" a catch phrase in British popular culture for anything bigger than it looks.

Satellite o’Love. Home to Joel (later Mike) and the ‘Bots: Tom Servo and Crow (and Gypsy and cambot) of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 fame. "It's just a show, so you really shoudl just relax..."

Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix series). A hovercraft. A fast and agile hovercraft. Not technically a starship, but Morpheus ride was just so utterly cool I wanted one.

Moya/TinMan (Farscape/ST:TNG). The concept of a living starship that bonds with terrestrial being for navigation and care is a very interesting one. I believe the motif has been used in SciFi literature for quite some time, but Star Trek was the first TV show to play with it. Moya is the most complete examination of that concept onscreen to date, and a very cool one it is.

Battlestar Galactica (the original series). I know the new ship is sleek and all… but it’s sleek and all. The original ship had such class, plus the Colonial Vipers were like the muscle cars of space.

I also understand that the Liberator of Blake 7 is also a ship worthy of note, however I have not seen the series. So I will leave the commentary to the better informed. Other ship mentioned in the discussion were the Narn Dreadnoughts, Cygnus of The Black Hole, The Event Horizon, starfighters from Buck Rodgers in the 25th Century, the Eagle from Space 1999, Red Dwarf and Space Ball One. I know that Star Wars Imperial Star Destroyers are an iconic sillouette in SciFi, but I just never took to them.

If you really want to get your geek on, have a look at this site which actually mapped out the relative sizes of *all* the ships in the more famous series (and some not so famous) for comparison so you can really get an idea how big they are vs. one another. Everything from Dyson Spheres to Federation Shuttles. And you can drag them around!

Bonus: I also recommend scrolling down to the bottom of “1 Meter per Pixel” page to check out the sizes of various buildings vs. Godzilla and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.)

So enjoy your family and friends everyone and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!