Life As A Warner Borthers Cartoon.

"I'll kill the rabbit
Arise storms
North winds blow, south winds blow
Typhoons, hurricanes, earthquakes. . .

SMOG!" ~ E. Fudd, What's Opera Doc

Just another day in Southern California: Storms, thunder and a 3.2 right offshore. Wheee!

"Oh Bunhilda, yer so wuvley."
"Yes I know it. I can't help it..."

Back To Life...

Well the race Sunday was a great one, especially the finish. Carl Edwards has definitely arrived.

Two of my drivers had a good days: Mark Martin finished 4th and Elliott Sadler got up as high as 4th or 5th (?) before fading back to 14th. EDIT: And coming back up to 10th. Guess the guys in the Hollywood Hotel didn’t figure he was worth covering. >:( Mark too, it’s like they only mentioned him under duress. “Oh, jeez, he’s in the top five, well…I guess we have to talk about him now.” What did I tell you guys; nobody thinks of Mark and *pop* there he is.

BTW-Props to Mark’s Pit Crew in the first half of the race. Dayum, guys, way to move! Now keep that up through a whole race. I didn’t se the times for the Brew crew yet.

Dale’s day was…not so great. Now I have not signed onto any of the boards right now because I know the flipping out that is probably going on. Guys, look at how long it has taken crew chiefs to settle in with drivers I the past. It’s usually a process of months before the two completely acclimate to one another so anyone who expected stellar results right out of the gate was engaging in some wishful thinking. (Second, it hasn’t all been the car. One-third place finish, one bad car + bad ties, one driver error and one bad car + driver error.) What’s important at this point is how they are getting along, how well the communication is coming along, how well they are problem solving, etc. And in that regard, both Dale and Pete have been doing a great job and making progress and I still have confidence that this is for the benefit of everyone.

Odd notes:

~Is it just me or is Jimmy Fennig going greyer by the minute? Kurt, that’s his kids job, you know that!

~Did anyone figure out what the hell turned Mears around?

~Props to Mikey and the guys in the garage. But the new Napa guys pit stop times were atrocious. Come on guys, just because you’re wearing blue now that doesn’t mean we don’t keep an eye on yas!

~That was the single worst National Anthem I have ever heard, anywhere, ever.

~Hammond’s “Speak No Evil” when asked about cheating in the pre-race and his imitation of DW’s race chatter, “It’s loose. It’s loose. *squeak* IT’S LOOSE! *squeak*” was probably the highlight of the broadcast side of it.

Can’t Get Away From It

I basically spent this weekend in a dark hole with the world pulled up over it, ie. being a vegetable, which means I spent a ton of time watching TV, watching DVDs and reading. Now we all know you could not turn on the television without getting whacked over the head with the Schiavo case. I am all for Right to Death provided that there is a living will that stipulates that (and apparently you also need someone with a power of attorney to carry it out) or the person is conscious enough to say, “Yeah. I’ve had enough.” But it seems to me that Shiavo’s husband maybe jumping the gun here. The telling thing to me is the fact they are making a big deal out of removing her feeding tube, not a respirator, and that she is expected to live a few weeks off of it. Obviously she is not a complete vegetable or a person already on their way out.

So as much as I hate the idea of the government interfere in such a private matter as someone’s death and as much as I hate the way this has been politicized, in this particular instance, the government may be saving someone’s life and the bill passed last night sets no precedent for rabid neo-conservatives to use in the future.

Addemndum: Having read more of the history (I didn't realize it had been going on for so long through that many courts) and medical testimony, I can see where the husband is coming from. Without a written living will I can understand the parents taking it to court, but the no legislature has any business in this family crisis.

Still Adjusting

My walk was really lonely this morning.

In Memoriam: Gerard ~ May of 1993 to March 18th, 2005

I wouldn’t normally feel comfortable sharing something like this over the web, but I need to get this out there. So you all can skip this one if you feel like it.

I mentioned before that my dog was terminal with cancer. Well, I lost him Thursday night.

Back in 1994, I was driving home from work in the urban jungle when I spotted this dog trotting down the train tracks. It was hard to miss him, he was red. Bright flaming “red-head” orange. With cream points (chest, belly, lower legs and face). He also had a big splotch of blue paint on his side and a leather collar. Being near a major thoroughfare, I pulled my car over and opened the door. That was all it took, he hopped right in. I placed ads in the papers for the one year old, but no one called and since my keeshond (who passed away last year) liked him (she was pretty picky), he stayed. It took me a long time to realize how lucky I got that day.

Gerard (as he was named after Tommy Lee Jones’ character in The Fugitive “It ain’t over ‘till the big dog howls…” Gerry’s…was my big dog.) wasn’t just a dog, he was a Dawg. Big enough to command respect (75 lbs.), but cuddly enough to make the biggest hard cases melt. He was a Siberian Husky/ Shar Pei cross (though Chow-Chow might have been the second parent). His body, tail, coat and color pattern was Siberian, but his thick neck, fleshy muzzle, square ears and eyebrow wrinkles were Shar Pei. The best way to describe him would be as a cross between a lion and a bear dipped in russet orange paint. Intelligent, quietly willful and self possessed, with a mellow, roll-with-it personality, but by no means a push over, Gerry was the kind of dog you could put in your pick up and drive across country with (had you the pick up and the time, which sadly, I had neither.)

Perhaps the people that dumped him were looking for an aggressive dog, for I never saw an aggressive bone in his body. Only twice he got in the faces of aggressive dogs. The first time I was walking he and Kuluk when a german shepard jumped his fence and came running at us growling. Gerry stepped right in his path and growled. The dog turned on a dime and hopped right back over his fence. (As we continued out walk, I swear to Gawd, Kuluk stuck her nose into Gerry’s muzzle and I heard a “smacking kiss” sound.) The second time was when Gerry was much older. A foster dog I had, a pit bull that had been used for fighting, she kept pushing at him, trying to establish her place in the pack when he finally snapped. (The pit left the house immediately and went to live in Seattle.) But that was it, somebody reeeeeally had to push Gerry for him to get his dander up, the rest of the time…the rest of the time I’d say Gerry’s most dominant character trait was ”Scamp”.

Trash cans were a favorite, he liked to pick out the egg shells and take them between his huge snow-paws and delicately lick the inside of them clean, without breaking them amazingly. And then there were the 1 ft+ diameter holes dug through the drywall. The first time it was a baby bird that had fallen out of the nest under my eves he was trying to get to, the second it was a cat that had gotten under the house. But his favorite thing was to play “running away”. If you had missed a walk, say you went out for New Years, when you got home that morning Gerry would bolt out the gate as soon as you opened it. You would run after him screaming of course, that was the fun part. He would then run around his regular walk-route and right back home. I figured out this was the way he was going because one time when I lost sight of him I hopped in my car to look for him and drove out to the nearest major intersection and who comes running up to the cross walk? Happy as a clam? “Hiyas!” He made the corner and started running for home and I whipped a U-y and followed him back, swear to Gawd that dog was looking at me as if to say “I’ll race ya home!” I should have looked down at the speedometer because I know we were both going around 15 to 20 miles per hour. I stepped on the gas and pulled into a drive way ahead of him and opened the door. ”Get in the car!” He hopped right in, panting and happy. And you could tell he was thinking “I know she’s really mad, but damn that was a lot of fun!”

“Gerry, I outta…you little….*hug* Oh, thank God you’re alright!”

More famous among my family is the “fake out incident”. Gerry did the same thing to my sister while she was house sitting for me. Completely panicked she was running all over the neighborhood when she spots Gerry running towards her. She sets herself up to catch him, ready to grab…when he faints right, goes left and runs straight back into the end zone: home.

Her reaction was about the same.

Truthfully though, my sister was Gerry’s favorite person. He loved it when she came over.

He was just sweet, just wanted love. All of it. Every single ounce to be had. If anyone else was getting attention, you would be confronted by this fuzzy orange wall that was worming itself in between you and whomever. Hell, you could call one of the cats and he would come over with this look on his face as if to say “But I’m cuter!”

He had a very interesting relationships with the cats, specifically with my eldest cat Bastet. They would play at the typical dog-cat relationship. He would run up to her and pretend to pounce at her and she would take off running. He would chase onto the table and she would just wail on him. His fur was so thick all he had to do was close his eyes. The next thing, they would be curled up together and she’d be cleaning him. What was even more amazing is that she would let him clean her. The playing stopped when Bastet accidentally scratched his eye. The emergency clinic I took him too botched the surgery completely and my vet had to remove it. She felt soooo bad, edged around him for weeks afterwards. But they patched it up and though the play didn’t resume, the cozying up did.

But he was just a great dog. I really didn’t know how great until Kuluk passed away and I could focus more attention on him. (He had a hard time when Kuluk passed. Kuluk had a habit of “fluffing the floor” despite the fact that my entire place is tile and hard wood. Two days after she passed, Gerry walked up to me and fluffed the floor for the first time. “Where is she?” ) He was trained fine already, but he just opened up so much more. Became more responsive, more affectionate, more trusting, just showed more of his warm doggy soul. He wasn’t just my dog, he was my pal. I felt bad because I realized how much I had shortchanged him by having so many pets, not to mention the foster dogs. We started visiting a dog park so that he had a chance to play with other dogs. He loved it from day one, became his favorite place in the world. He was too old to keep up with the running, rolling packs of younger dogs, but he would ambush them as they went by. He also liked to get I the middle of to dogs wrestling as if he was a referee (“Break! Back to your corners!”) so much I got him a zebra striped collar.

He also had an embarrassing tendency to pick dogs to “fall in love with” and follow around yelping plaintively became they wouldn’t play with him. That was about the most noise I had eve heard him make, he wasn’t much of a barker, though he would try to talk to you. Early on he realized that humans communicate verbally, so he would walk up and point his nose the air and grooooooowl. I called it his “groawly voice”. Freaked a couple folks out.

“Your dog is growling at me!”
“No, he’s just talking to you…”

About the only thing Gerry didn’t like was vet exams, not that he didn’t like going to the vet, he did. He loved the attention, but he hated being man handled. I once dropped him off at a grooming salon first thing in the morning and when I came to pick him up right before they closed, Gerry was still on the table yelping and squirming and crying and oh, you’d have thought they were trying to kill him.

“I’m so sorry,…” I told the groomer as she handed me his leash.
“No, really, he was wonderful…” She replied through gritted teeth.

We had baths at home after that.

Once when he had to have a skin scraping at the vet they led him into the back and suddenly off he went, *YELP*YELP*YELP*WHINE*WHINE*WHINE*YELP*YELP*YELP* And I’m standing there turning beet red as all the vet techs are running into the back slamming doors behind them, thinking “Yes, that’s my dog...” Turns out they hadn’t even started, they were just trying to get him to lie on his side. After they had me come with him into the back, not that it helped, but “No, we really aren’t trying to kill your dog…”

Late last summer Gerry developed a skin infection on his belly and legs, but it hit him hard, much harder than it should. We did blood work and X-Rays and found cancer that had spread from his anal gland into his lymph system. Two oncologists later and he was diagnosed with an inoperable carcinoma that had spread to his lungs. Six months on the outside. Chemo would have simply frozen the disease in place, there was no chance of true remission. A human understands why they go through chemo. They understand that the day in the hospital with an IV stuck in them and the days afterwards feeling sick will most likely result in their felling well again in the future. Dogs don’t understand that. They just know that the person they love and trust is dropping them off for 24 hours of hell twice a week. I decided that the best course of action would be to just make his life as happy as possible for the rest of it and amazingly, that’s what it was.

I prayed daily that Gerry remain as happy and comfortable for as long as possible. And remarkably he was, even as the cancer went into his spleen, his liver, surrounded his spine, shut down one of his kidney’s and swelled his lymph nodes to the point they were compressing his lower GI tract, he was in no pain and only in the last couple weeks of his life was his mobility effected. The vet kept saying he was amazed that Gerry was so happy whenever he came in, that he asked for affection and smiled and wasn’t just curled up in a corner trying to get comfortable with a “leave me alone glower”. He was a trooper, went through various exams and was taking seven different medications by the end, yet still a happy dawg. I know he didn’t like being monkeyed with so much, but I think he understood I was doing it with good intentions. We went to the dog park every day I had off and he just loved it, even when the extent of his activity was just making a round of the people there for pats and then finding a quiet patch to lie down and suck up the ambiance. He just enjoyed being there. He was still interested in being here. And as long as he was interested, I would help him stay.

But he went through a decline in the last couple weeks. The prednisone he was on is an immuno-suppressant. He got abscesses that burst on his elbows that refused to heal and he had trouble standing on his own. Our morning walks turned into very slow ambles that only took us half the distance in the same amount of time. I knew things were running down, so I also began praying for a death that was quick, clean and comfortable as well as the strength, wisdom and insight to make the right choices for him.

Thursday evening I came back from class, helped Gerry up and let him outside and back in again, fed him some cold cuts (his appetite had dipped and it was a matter of getting anything down his throat willingly) and started on his regimen of medications (they couldn’t be given all at once or he would throw up) when I noticed he was having difficulty breathing. Not major, he just kept his head out straight and if you listened very closely you could hear a slight wheeze. The way he gobbled up the cold cuts made me first think that he had accidentally inhaled a piece, but when he didn’t cough it up and the problem continued, I took him to an emergency clinic. His airway was clear and they said his lungs sounded clear and recommended that he have an x-ray and a white cell count done to figure out what was wrong (as if Gerry’s white cell count wasn’t elevated already). Well, I had little to no money and my own vet has payment plans for regular patients in situations like mine, so we headed home ready to go to the vet the next morning.

I helped Gerry out of the car, he stood in the street looking up at the night sky as I locked the car up. He preceded me up the walk and as I unlocked and opened the front door, he just fell over. No breathing, no pulse. Just gone.

It was almost comical. He fell like a tree. Straight over. His limbs didn’t buckle, there was no struggle, he just…checked out. I actually managed to resuscitate him for a few breaths, but he wasn’t there anymore, his eye didn’t react and his body was just mechanically taking breaths. So I let him go. I held him in my arms and told him it was o.k. to rest now. He could go play with Kuluk. That I loved him and that he was a good boy…

My vet thinks it was probably a pulmonary edema brought on by the mets in his lungs and even if they had caught it, given the state of Gerry’s health, there wasn’t anything anyone could have done. Whatever it was, it really was the best way out. It was quick, the look on his face was one of surprise rather than pain or fear, and there was no struggle. There as only a few hours of moderate discomfort leading up to it. The only way it could have been easier is if it had happened in his sleep. I just wish I could have gotten him inside and sat with him for a while before it happened. As it was I spent hours sitting with him afterwards, just petting him in his favorite spots, on his belly and chest and scratching his eyebrow wrinkles. Calling someone to let them know and the petting him for while, then call someone else.

Having the body there overnight I think helped a great deal for my other pets. When I took Kuluk in to be put down, they wandered around wondering when she was going to get back, Gerry especially. This way everyone got a chance to come up and smell his body and realize he was dead. He wasn’t coming back. They probably have come to grips with the situation faster than I have. Gerard was a very large, very warm, very orange, very furry, very funny, very unique, truly a one in a million dog, and very strong presence in this house…and I miss him so much. :’(

It Ain't Riverdance

Does anyone ever wonder how a country known for shamrocks, Guinness and St. Patrick is just as well known for their contentious natures and capacity for violence (listen the lyrics of some of those old Irish Ballads sometime, they’d have Tipper Gore in fits). Long before the leprechauns and “sure n’ begorrah”, Ireland was a country full of myths and legends propagated by a people whose prowess in battle was so fierce that they sent Ceasar’s troops scurrying home with their tail tucked firmly between their legs.* By reading those you get a good picture of the ancient roots that flowered into Irish** Celtic Culture.

The legends can be confusing and seemingly contradictory, probably the result of writers, Irish monks in the Middle Ages probably, trying to reconcile the local legends and the local versions of national legends (much like what was done with the Arthur legend) of Irish History. Legend that they are finding have some basis in fact.

Ireland, they say, is the result of a series of ancient invasions by various peoples. The most familiar to us (the ones who have the most written about them next to the Milesians/Human Celts) are the Tuatha De Danann. They were not immortal all-powerful Gods as we are used to in Greco-Roman legends, but beings who’s wisdom, knowledge and skills far-far outstripped that of the peoples around them. (For shorthand reasons I will still refer to them as “gods”.)

Looking at these gods and their legends, we see what the ancient Celts valued. The greatest God of the Dannan, the one who ruled them, was not a God of strength or war, but Lugh of the Long Hand, Master of All Arts and Crafts (and we ain’t talking macramé here folks). Another very prominent God is Dagda the Good God, who exploits of gluttony and lust can stretch into the comical. And another is The Morrigan. The Morrigan is a Goddess of both War and Fertility** that had three aspects: Morrigan is a Goddess of Violence & Bloodshed, Badb is a Goddess of Death, and Macha who is a Goddess of Horses & Fertility (and you really don’t want to mess with her either) or Nemian a Goddess of Frenzy. Some legends speaks of these being sisters, some speak of them being aspects of the same being. So here you have Brains/Skill, Lust for Life and War. There are many other legends of many other deities, but in my reading these deities are the ones that appear the most and have the most influence.

So ancient Celtic legends are filled with cleverness, violence, alcohol and sex.*** (Actually for all the Parental Groups Complaints, the levels of sex and graphic violence in most ancient legends is rather shocking to the modern TV watching American...though perhaps not for a Video Game playing one. ;) ) But one also has to remember in this violent world, these legends also emphasize and teach lessons of Duty, Honor, Courage, Loyalty, Knowledge & Wisdom, Using One’s Head Over One’s Fist, Love and Respect.

Legend states that when the Milesians (Humans) invaded, they conquered the Tuathe and made them go into the Barrows (burial mounds), but the Tuathe de Dannan still played a major role in the legends of the Celtic Humans in the Ulster Cycle; begetting children with humans, making enemies of heroes and kings, coming to aid their favorites when all hope is lost, roles very similar to those of Greek Gods in the Illiad. I don’t think they took on the “chubby leprechaun” aspect until the English invaded and marginalized the Irish and Irish culture near to the extent we marginalized the Native Americans (barring active genocide). It’s the interpretation through the English of the “Tales of the bog trotting Irish” that I think that rather condescending “cutesy” view of Irish Culture came into being.

So a word of advice: The sidhe or (which include Leprechauns), are not to be treated lightly for more than a spark of the mighty nature of the Dannan still lives in them, as does to their resentment for we supplanted them in the rule of Erin. So if you encounter one of the “Good Folk” after yer drahms of poteen this avenin', be respectful & polite, be honest, be helpful, and above all do not make any deals! ;-)



*The fact that the average Roman was a little over 5 feet tall and the Celts already averaged 6 foot...and tended to run into the thick of battle buck-ass naked, hair sticking up from lime paste, screaming, may have had a slight effect on morale.
**As opposed to Scottish Celts, Bretons, Welsh, French Gaelic, Germanic Celts, etc. They were all over the place. You wouldn't belive how thrilled my Czechoslovakian-decent (now Ex) BF was to find out he was Celtic.
***Rather reminiscent of Ishtar, the Babylonian Goddess of War and Love…then again, Aphrodite & Ares had a thing going on too...mankind seems to like to put those two aspects of life together a lot.
****Another interesting aspect is that the Irish Celtic legends do not mention or even deal with the afterlife, which decent into the underworlds is a common theme in myth, from Inanna’s visit to her sister Ereschkial to Orpheus failed rescue of Eurdyce. However, they do have a couple legends, such as “The Wooing of Etain”, that include reincarnation.

Obscure Scholarly Rant

You were warned. ;)

If you have opened up a history book written in the last ten years or so you will notice that the dates are followed by “B.C.E.” or “C.E.” rather than preceded by “B.C.” or “A.D.”. “B.C.E.” stands for “Before Common Era” and “C.E.” stands for “Common Era” and they have exactly the same year values as B.C. (“Before Christ”) and A.D. (“Anno Domini”, latin for “Year of Our Lord”). This is to remove the “Christian influence” in historical research….

And confuse the living hell out of us.

In many ways I am for the removal of much of the Western cultural lens through which we view history and anthropology. Many philosophers and sociologists have spoken about the interaction of thought and word, how each affects the other. Often when we view another culture, we subconsciously make comparisons and evaluate against our own just in the use of language we use to describe it thereby causing us to misinterpret facets of those cultures entirely. For example we commonly refer to the most prominent Deities of India; Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva, as a “Trinity” when the relationships between those beings is nothing like the Trinity that most of the Western World is familiar with. Often people will look at a group such as the Native Americans or Australian Aboriginals and describe their cultures as “Primitive”, subconsciously describing our society as an ideal that the these people did not attain and devaluing their cultures which are perfectly suited to the life they lead and beliefs they hold. Most anthropologists now use the term “Traditional” to describe societies whose cultures have maintained their traditional way of life for many generations, noting the “Western Civilization Model” is but one path out of many a culture can go. In freeing ourselves from these subconscious evaluations and comparisons, we can more fully understand the cultures we are looking at and the historical events they created.

However, the “B.C./B.C.E.” nonsense is where I draw the line. History has so many eras: The Romantic Era, the Era of Steam, The Vietnam Era, etc. etc. etc. When someone says “Common Era”; Common to who, common to what? Does it mean do we start counting backward from our common era, right now? Meaning we would tack 2000 years onto the old dates? What about the Muslims who count their years from Mohammed's flight to Medina in 622 AD/CE, making this year 1383? “Common Era” is far too nebulous a term to be used when reckoning dates. “Before Christ” and “Ano Domini” is a system of years that revolves nicely around single, easily referenced point. Though there are debates that the calendar is as much as four years off Jesus actual birthdate (Which BTW - was probably in Spring), A. Confusion over four years beats the hell out of confusion over thousands and B. The system has outgrown the event. When someone says “B.C. 3500" they are not even thinking about Jesus Christ or Christianity. They are simply using an event in world history as a reference point. I happen to know several scholars who are not Christians who had no hang ups about the B.C./A.D. system so obviously they viewed it more as an academic construct than a religious one.

So E-NOUGH with this “BCE” nonsense, and lets get back to simple, understandable “B.C.”

GAWD-DAMN-MUTHER-FUCKING-SON-OF-A-BITCH!

Senate Approves Drlling in the ANWR

You can read my prior commentary on this topic here.

As one of my friends observed, if everyone in the U.S. kept their tires properly inflated we could save more oil in 18 months than what can be taken out of the ANWR and if anyone thinks this expendature of tax our dollars is going to reduce gas prices they are truly naive'. What truly frightening is the precedent this creates: opening up our national parks for exploitation by corporate interests. Hope you enjoyed Yellowstone folks, because now all those trees are up for grabs! Somewhere the Lorax is crying.

There is one last shot at this, and that is they don't approve the budget for it. Keep writing your representatives!

We of an older generation can get along with what we have, though with growing hardship; but in your full manhood and womanhood you will want what nature once so bountifully supplied and man so thoughtlessly destroyed; and because of that want you will reproach us, not for what we have used, but for what we have wasted...So any nation which in its youth lives only for the day, reaps without sowing, and consumes without husbanding, must expect the penalty of the prodigal whose labor could with difficulty find him the bare means of life. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

We Think Women Have a Tough Time Breaking into Racing Here...

Woman racer upsets testosterone-driven Iran

Pardon the cliche but, "YOU GO GIRL!!!!"

Maybe it’s time for NASCAR to stop violating 12-4-A

So, the penalties have come down.

#48 – Car too low in post race inspection
JJ dropped down 25 driver points
Jeffey dropped 25 owner Points
Chad suspended for 2 races, fined 35K

#5 – Quarter panels too high in post race inspection and violations of rules 12-4-A, the “Actions Detrimental the Stock Car racing”, and 12-4-Q (non-regulation equipment)
Kyle dropped down 25 driver points
Hendricks dropped 25 owner points.
Gustafson (crew chief) suspended for two races and fined 35K

Now the one we’ve all been waiting for:

#29 – Faking a full tank of fuel during qualifying.
Happy Harvick dropped 25 Driver points
Childress dropped 25 owner points
Todd Barrier (crew chief) has been suspended for 4 races and fined 25K

Now, I’m not too fond of the Hendricks Boys, but I have to wonder at the fines doled out here. When NASCAR deems something too low or too high, that can mean is 1/16th of an inch off. 1/16th. Theoretically, that could happen between the wear and tear of the race and JJ standing on the window in VL. Now in this sport, every 16th of an inch helps, but this is not as flagrant and deliberate as stuffing your fuel tank full foam and filling just enough to get the car through a couple qualifying laps and fool the pre-qualifying inspection. Having your crew chief out for four races is a lot worse than two, sure. But I’m looking at the monetary fines here. Why 25K for Harvick rather than 35K that Johnson got slapped with and why were Johnson’s and Busch’s punishments the same?

This is an ongoing problem with NASCAR rulings: There is no consistency. I’m not one of these people who believe that NASCAR favors one team over another, but I do believe that there is an arbitrary randomness to the system of fines and punishments that needs to be addressed. I don’t think they have any guidelines. A group in NASCAR needs to sit down with the rulebook and establish a set list of punishments for each and every rule. Now, because rules change so often, there is always going to be grey areas that Crew Chiefs exploit ergo there is always going to be some fines and suspensions made up on the spot, but I think a set list of punishments for the rules already in play will establish a guideline for future judgments to be rendered by. A little time taken during the off-season (or now for that matter) will result in more fairness, fewer protest hearings and more respect for NASCAR’s vaunted “integrity”.

And Speaking of Judgments: A Random Thing To Think About

Why is it when CEO’s steal millions or billions of taxpayer dollars they get sentenced to a few months to a couple years in a Federally Funded Country Club while the kid who sticks up a liquor store for 30 bucks spends 7 to 15 years in the darkest holes of of the Federal Prison system? I think if white collar criminals were at risk for the same sentences that street criminals were, say if the Enron Execs got to spend 8 to 10 as someone’s bitch at Pelican Bay, our tax dollars (and employee pensions) would be a hell of a lot safer.

But at least we are finding them guilty. Status of High Profile Corporate Scandals

And Speaking of Scum-Sucking Pig Demons From Hell

Kansas legislature declares Greyhounds "not dogs" to avoid protection from pet abuse laws.

While in principle Greyhound racing sounds cool, the abuses that pervade the system are truly heinous. (And that link is just in one state folks, 16 states allow greyhound racing.) The fact that a legislature would pass so blatantly, ridiculously biased a law just shows how bad the people who participate in this sport want a free hand to do whatever they feel like, how much they want to avoid scrutiny of what goes on in the kennels, when it come to these wonderful dogs.

The dog park I frequent is also the favorite of 5 rescued racing greyhounds; wonderful, intelligent, personable dogs all. Due to aficionados forming rescue groups, there has been great progresses in the humane treatment of these animals after they leave the racing programs, but private groups cannot compensate for an industry that casts off tens of thousands of three to four year olds (that’s about the age they “retire”) and wash-outs, nor can they protect the animals from abuses while in the program. Keeping greyhounds listed as pets just like any other dog gives the local Animal Protection services the ability to act when abuses are reported at the track.

If you live in a greyhound racing state, check to see what the laws are protecting these dogs and if not, what groups are trying to change them and help out!

Race Report: Irwindale

Well….in regards to Sunday’s Vegas race, well none of my drivers had a good day. RE: Lap 12, I think this is a situation where the lest said the better. He screwed up, he owned up, no reason to dwell on it. We’re about to head into a series of races on tracks that Dale has down and the Chase is a long way off, so I am not overly concerned.

Though will someone please explain to Jason Leffler how to pit?

Now, Saturday night was the season opening for Irwindale Speedway, our local ½ mile track. This was my first time going to local races. Fortunately, my Sensei-in-Speed-Robbie-Gordon-fan-friend and I went together. Irwindale is located in the outskirts of the greater L.A. area in what is essentially mining country. So the glorious pale orange sun set over the track between two massive drilling rigs/conveyor belts.

Irwindale also has a dragstrip which is made heavy use of, especially by the cops. Every city/town has it’s own laws regarding street racing. The town where I live they can crush your car at the judge’s discretion. What my friends told me is in Irwindale if someone is caught street racing, they can either A. Pay the fine or B. Go to the dragstrip and race a cop.

“Against a cruiser?”

“No, the cops have their own rides…”

Oh My.

If they lose, then they have to pay the very stiff fine. The program is to encourage folks to use the drag strip and get into the legal side of it. (Which I am all for legalizing street racing. One of my friends has a home video of a Mustang losing control during a heat and going into the crowd. This needs to be regulated for safety reasons.) I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s had some success.

We pulled into the lot and parked next to featherlite haulers and pick-ups & car trailers. The track is small (so small that they didn’t have enough pit stalls and some of the guys were out working on their cars outside the fence towards the end of the concession stands) and it only seats about 6,000, so instead of all the polished hoopla and sponsor booths, there is a real comfortable, personal touch to it. Not only in that all the various cars brought out on the track for everyone to come down and talk with the drivers (many of whom had candy and balloons and stuff for the kids in thick crowd of people wandering around the cars and grouping in knots around the drivers), but the interactions between the MC and the crowd was refreshingly personal. When they were making the pre-race welcomes, they announced that there were a bunch of guys there who had recently come back from Iraq, they made them stand up and everyone gave them a huge round of applause, biggest one of the night. :) Then they had the Sergeant come up and wave the green flag for the first race. :D

They had so many teams show up for the opening night that they couldn't get all the qaulifying in. So the first race of the evening was a ten lap heat to decide which two guys got the last spots in the Super Late Model race. Then a 35 lap race for the Grand American Modifieds (alcohol burning cars with no body, these are bare bones cars: Wheels, Chassis, roll cages and an engine), 40 laps of Super Stocks (the old Cameros and such that guys turn into stock cars in their garage), 50 laps of the Late Models (Old Featherlites, I believe), 75 laps of the Super Lates (old stock cars, if I understood correctly, old Busch series cars…I’m still a bit fuzzy on the difference), 40 Laps of Dodge Super Trucks (V-10s!) and then 35 laps of the Mini-Stocks (transformed Pintos mostly, through with a Vegas or Celica thrown in there).

The evening moved fast (no pun intended), no more then 15 minutes with the top three lining up in front of the stands for photos and quick interviews (proving that some drivers have already attended the Michael Waltrip School Of Sponsor Representation) before the next series of cars were out on the track for the next race. Up until this Super Lates race, the cars had gotten fairly spread out over the track and to an untrained eye such as my own it was more of who had the best car rather than who was the better driver, though my friend began schooling me on the finer art of watching drivers who found the right line, who had better car control, shifting, etc., but when they got to the Super Lates and the Trucks, oh, man did it get good! There was some real racin’ goin on. Drivers really competing with each other through the turns, pushing the limits of the cars, the track, each other and themselves. Just a lot of side by side and some three-wides into the turns, even a four wide a one point. Technically, none of these races had pit stops, but we watched one young driver make a very creative use of the cautions to go behind the wall to get some new tires. Give that Crew Chief a cigar.

There was even one really hairy looking wreck as one car spun out and rammed into the leading edge of the interior concrete divider, but once they pried him out of the car he walked away, Thank the Gods.

During the truck race we watched the lead pack of four thread their way around two stragglers so smooth as if they had choreographed it. And then the truck in 2nd place kept pushing the back of the lead truck until he spun him out coming out of the turns, relegating them both to the back, which made the guy I was rooting for (number 8…ty-one, he had hastily added a one to the side of his truck with duct tape. I’m from a family of engineers, we’ll root for anyone with duct tape.) come in second. The call was disputed, but I don’t know what the results were. (Interesting fact that the trucks in this series have the cooling system in the back, so set in at an angle in the bed is a air filter.)

I like truck races. :D

The Mini Stocks were cool, but my friend wasn’t interested so we left. As we walked out we passed a pick-up that not only was towing the racecar, but it also was carrying two engine blocks as well as all the big tools in the truck bed. Day-um, if that wasn’t a rolling Ford ad.

Sadly, the very fun evening was marred when we got back to my friend's car and discovered someone had spiked both of the tires on the driver side. She wasn’t parked illegally, hadn’t hit anyone or cut anyone off, nor was her 5 year old 4-Runner something that would arouse ire. The only thing we could figure is that she had Robbie Gordon and Tony Stewart stickers on the back that someone took exception to.

What the hell?

Whenever I see Hendricks stickers my greatest reaction, if I react, is a roll of the eyes and a snort of distain. I do not feel the urge to cause someone a few hundred dollars worth of damage in order to express my displeasure at their personal choice of driver. That would be just being a petty jackass.

So to all the petty jackasses in the world, be very aware that karma is a cold hearted bitch. And oh, by the way, in the same spirit of maturity you display: You suck dead donkey dicks.

I’d like to assume this is an anomaly and still encourage people to go to their local racetracks, enjoy some great racing and support up and coming drivers, but this put a damper on my enthusiasm. I’d like to assume this is an isolated incident and that most racing fans are nice people that are great to sit in a crowd with. I do know I will be going again. :)

Y'know, Sometimes I Work....

I know, it’s shocking.

Well, I could be in a tizz about various world events such as this recent article from the New Yorks Times about how within a 5 month period 35 suspected terrorists were able to legally purchase handguns (Your Homeland Security Office and Patriot Act at work people! I feel so much safer, don't you?).

But I’m not. Too much stuff going on behind the scenes if you know what I mean. Just wiped out today.

So having finished my work, I’m going to sit here answer the phones, play bounce-out and listen to Chick Music.

A Kip Burn - Girl Rock:

Caught A Lite Sneeze – Tori Amos
Mary Mary – Chumbwumba
Hella Good – No Doubt
St. Theresa – Joan Osborne
I Say Nothing – Voice of the Beehive
Little Bird – Annie Lennox
A Case of You – Joni Mitchell
China – Tori Amos
Enough of Me – Melissa Ethridge
Leaving Las Vegas – Sheryl Crow
Unsent – Alanis Morisette
Pensacola – Joan Osborne
Royal Station 416 – Melissa Ethridge
Bring On The Rain – Jo Dee Messina

"I have a Tori Amos album, and I'm not afraid to use it!" ~ Me.
"Aaaaaigh! Run Away!" ~ All guys within a 50 foot radius.

On a Lighter Note...

For Those That Wrinkle Your Nose in Disgust Whenever Someone Lights Up Near You Whilst You Quaff Your Cola or Starbucks Concoction?

It’s your turn.

National Caffeine Awareness Month.

And when all the persnickety people have removed all the cigarettes, caffeine, alcohol and porn in the U.S., we’ll be the most healthy, happy well-adjusted mass murders around.

Obnoxious Characters

My brother is the typical Libra: quiet, urbane, witty, polite, indecisive, aesthetic, avoids conflict like a Senate Confirmation Committee... ;)

Yet his current favorite fictional character? Futurama’s Bender. Bender supplanted the long time favorite Crow of MST3K fame. So now instead of walking around mumbling “e-mail me at crow@biteme.com” and giggling, he mumbles, “Bite my shiny metal ass” and giggles.

So inside his civil exterior, my brother has a misanthropic android sitting in the depths of his soul that Bender resonates with. And is he the only one, really? I think we all have “inner Benders” in some way shape or form that make the outer ones so appealing to us in fiction, be it literary, film or T.V. Hence the reason characters like Bart Simpson became so wildly popular. They appeal to and represent some part of our personalities that says and does the rude, obnoxious things we wish we could say and get away with it.

Thinking about it, this trend of “jerks we love” goes back a lot further than modern popular culture. If you look at most pantheons of Gods on the planet there is a Trickster in the family. He is one of the most universal Archetypes. The Navajo have Coyote, an amoral mischief-maker who tricks the Gods, often helping mankind and creating some of the most beautiful form in nature like the Stars. Loki is the most famous trickster God in western culture and probably the darkest in causing the death of Balder, the most perfect and good of the Norse gods, simply for the challenge of it. Hermes/Mercury is famous for his tricks as a youngster. In India Hanuman the Monkey God keeps things lively. There was also a Monkey God Sun Wukong in China who was that culture’s Trickster. The Link to the Wikipedia article above contains links to a plethora of entries for Trickster Gods in various cultures.

The Trickster's purpose is two fold: One, he (and it usually is a he, though some of them can change genders when they feel like it) is the element of chaos in the world that keeps it dynamic and growing, as well as the element of randomness in various legends that keep the audience on it's toes. But the Trickster is also the one being that pull the Gods tails and can show human beings how silly their society can be. In short, the cultural pressure value for the people living under the Gods will. Some cultures have taken this a step further in including laughter in their religions. Hopi, for example, have Sacred Clowns that take part in their rituals.

Now, not too many people really believe in myths anymore :(, but we still create Trickster characters just as we create Heros and Villains. So Bart Simpson and characters like him not only have an important place in human culture, we apparently actually need them.

(I have to wonder if the late Hunter S. Thompson was trying to fill that basic human need in some way.)

So here are a couple of my favorites. As obnoxious as many consider me, I too have an inner Bender or three.

One is Bucky Katt of Get Fuzzy. He is so deliciously and utterly self centered, probably they way we wish we all could be sometimes. “I’m not close minded, you’re just wrong!” (Though I was glad to see Satchel standing up to him at last.) So occasionally if I get in a mood among my various other bitchings “I WANT TUNA!” pops out.

Hawkeye Pierce. Because Alan Alda is such a nice guy and Hawkeye spouted much of the anti-war message of "M*A*S*H", people tend to forget the Hawkeye as a character (as was observed by several characters early on in the show) while charming, witty and deep feeling was also self-absorbed, cynical, occasionally cruel, controlling (remember the difference in his relationships between Trapper and B.J.), immature, commitment phobic and random. In short, a Trickster. Yet his antics to amuse himself and his commitment to his work that stretched far beyond "duty" into "passion" combined with his complete disregaurd for the rules often did the people around him more good then he did for himself.

Alan Shore of "Boston Legal" has many of the same qualities. He goes out of his way to ensure that no one take him seriously or even thinks well of him. On the surface he is self-absorbed, cynical, black humored, sexist/misogynist, rule bending (if not breaking), utterly irreverent to the point of being quite rude and witty/funny as hell. But he, like Hawkeye, very much has strong ideals & moral standards (behind every cynic is a disappointed idealist) that while they may not match up to what society at large considers “ethical” or “moral” there is a system and he is very (stoically) disappointed when something falls short of it. He has come to expect it, yet it obviously hurts him all the same. Alan is the off-side approach to ethical and moral quandaries the show presents and keeps the pot stirred to keep things interesting.

Now I just wish they would stop messing with the show’s time!

Jyane Cobb of Firefly. (Now we’re getting into heavy geek-ness). Firefly was a show filled with Joss Wedon’s (formerly of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame) wonderful diverse characters (and witty dialogue), but Jayne stands out. On the surface Jayne is a machismo, violent, stupid, greedy mercenary. However, in the direst of circumstances Jayne is the one who kept his head the best, he diligently sent money home to his mother and had a larger vocabulary then he let on. He's probably one of those guys who is much smarter than he, or anyone around him, gives himself credit for. Jayne is capable of great evil (turning an innocent teenage girl over to torturous scientists for the cash) but he was also capable of good, such as his rejection of worship at Jaynestown. Not much is known about Jayne, including on whose side he will decide his interests lie.

The Firefly series was short-lived, but the 13 episodes that were made showed great promise with the incredible writing of fantastic characters involved in some really mysterious and compelling subplots. That promise hopefully will be realized in the Firefly Movie: Serenity.

Garek. I only saw the first couple seasons of "DS9" (Sorry "Deep Space Nine"), but the station had been owned by the Cardassians before they yielded it up to the Bajorans and Federation and the one Cardassian left behind was Garek “The Tailor”. What Garek actually was was one of Cardassia’s best spies who had pissed off his superiors and been exiled to this outpost to spy on the Federation and Bajor. It was a shit assignment and he knew it and so while he might remain loyal to his assignment, he also didn’t have many qualms about screwing the Cardassian military over either. The character was completely amoral, lied as easily as he breathed (“It’s all true Doctor.” “Even the lies?” “Especially the lies.”), killed as easily as he lied, was as charming as a snake and smooth as silk. Probably the biggest wild card and most risqué character ever thrown into a Star Trek series, Garek was just a brilliant creation and quite frankly, one of the saving graces of the show.

If anyone is interested in info on the Trickster and other Archetypes in Myth and Mythology's presence in our lives even today, read the Works of Joseph Campbell, I suggest starting with the Power of Myth, it’s a good over-view of his work and as it’s actually an interview conducted by Bill Moyers, delightfully readable (I’ve seen some his lecture tapes, as fascinating as his work was, he was terribly dry).

Current Newsweek Article: I Call Shenanigans....

So the Bush Administration is trying to take credit for Lebanon.

This weeks Newsweek’s article “What Bush Got Right” is the biggest load of crap I have read in a long, long time. It’s the same “They hate us because we’re prosperous and free” bullshit. Please note that while “Bush Democracy-Please-Go-Vote-While-Our-Civilian-Contactors-Steal-Money-and-Oil-From-you Tour” is aiming at the Theocratic Republic of Iran, it’s completely ignoring the hereditary monarchy of Saudi Arabia, which Zakaria ranks as one of the most repressive regimes. If this were Bush’s plan, if this was the theory from which he is working, why is he then not pressuring the Saudi’s to holds free elections? And where does the sanctioned Torture fit into this ideal Bush theory of Freedom that Zakaria is professing? It’s funny, but all I have been hearing from the Bush administration is “Afghanistan” then “Iraq” and now “Iran”. I didn’t hear them say anything about Lebanon, did you?

This is the kind of B.S. reasoning he uses:

People have often wished that the president had traveled more over the years. But Bush's capacity to imagine a different Middle East may actually be related to his relative ignorance of the region. Had he traveled to the Middle East and seen its many dysfunctions, he might have been disheartened. Freed from looking at the day-to-day realities, Bush maintained a vision of what the region could look like.

Translated: "Since Bush didn’t actually know what was happening in the Middle East he could fix it."

That kind of reasoning will get you laughed out of your undergrad critical thinking class in a heartbeat. I can also tell you about a thousand managers that can refute that as a business theory.

How much did the Bush administration pay this guy? Really?

I refer you to the recent New York Time article “Unexpected Whiff of Freedom Proves Bracing for the Mideast” by Neil MacFarquar.

“Iraq, however, serves more as a threat than a model. Although many Arabs were impressed by the zeal with which Iraqis turned out to vote on Jan. 30, Iraq remains a synonym for frightening, violent chaos.
"When you are a Syrian, or an Egyptian or a Saudi and you see what happened to Iraqi society over the past two years, you wonder if democracy deserves such instability and such a sacrifice of people," said Ghassan Salame, a former Lebanese cabinet minister.”

For the Bush administration to take credit for the Lebanese people’s cohesion, effort and risk in rising up against the Syrians is so smarmy and false is defies description. The credit for the cohesion, effort and risk taken by the Lebanese people belongs to the Lebanese people alone, not the Bush Administration.

And Now For Something Completely Different....

Folding

I played Texas Hold ‘Em for the first time this weekend and had a blast, but mostly for the additional competition of “The Most Imaginative Way to Fold”:

“I fold like a paper airplane.”
“I fold like an origami crane”
“I fold like a dry cleaners”
“I fold like a circus tent.”
“I fold like a French diplomat”
“I fold like the Polish army”
…and so on.

I actually didn’t do too badly, pulled out a couple straights. :D With the cards anyway, couldn't even come close on the "Folding" competition.


Racing

I don’t watch TV much, so apparently I have been missing out on some of the more colorful commentary on this last weekend’s Busch race in Mexico City. (Congrats to Martin Truex Jr. on his win. That seemed like a hairy track and he had some stiff competition.). Now I know this will fly in the face of popular opinion, but quite frankly, I’m all for it having a regular race or two outside our borders. I really don’t see why NASCAR is something that Americans have to keep to themselves. Europeans play American Football, Americans play European Football (otherwise known as Soccer), F1, Indy, Rally cars and a host of other racing leagues are international, why marginalize NASCAR by keeping it completely in country? Just thinking about it (since I haven’t driven any of these cars) I would imagine the skill set for driving a Nextel Cup car to be quite different than that of other racing series, why not show that skill set off?

This is the conundrum NASCAR seems to be caught in with it’s fans (in general, not all): They want the sport to garner respect, but they want to keep it entirely to themselves.

The sport won’t get respect unless we go show people what it’s all about, right?

I understand that this is another big change in the middle of a lot of changes (from “mastermind” Brian France), but I don’t think this is necessarily bad.

And if drivers from Brazil or Japan or Mexico or France or Italy or Outer Mongolia or wherever happen to bump an American team from their place in the field, well, tough luck. Go make a better car, go practice to become a better driver. That’s sports, that’s competition. If anything, this might step the racing up a notch.

Emoticons and Pics

I need ‘em.

Quote of the Day

"But there's a lot of people that hate my guts, too. There's some people that don't like me....I never really wanted to tick anybody off. You've just got to know, and I learned early, that there's going to be people that like what you do, whether you're a writer or a race car driver, and there's going to be people that disagree with you and don't like what you stand for and don't like what you said. There's really nothing you can do. You've just got to roll with the punches." ~ Dale Earnhardt Jr.

"We Don't Do Empire..."

I’ve been sayin’ and sayin’ and sayin’….

This months History Today ( British Mag) has an awesome article in their Cross Current section, “We Don’t Do Empire” by Bernard Porter outlines the remarkable similarities between Britain’s foreign policy of the 19th century and the United States foreign policy now.

Unfortunately, the mag is loaner from my Mom, so the only online reference I can give you guys is the “Come subscribe to us” tease. You can’t even get in if you have a print subscription. But here are some of the more interesting passages (all errors in the text are probably typing errors from me). It pretty much speaks for itself.

The similarities between modern American ‘imperialism’ and the old British kind are too glaring to be ignored. Partly this arises from the fact that so much of the former is taking place in parts of the world, like Afghanistan and Iraq, where the British imperial bootprint can still be clearly seen. Even some Americans’ denial of it – ‘We don’t do empire’, in the words of Donald Rumsfeld – chimes in with certain illusions the Victorian British had. One can imagine Gladstone saying the same thing during the Midlothian election campaign of 1879, for example, or even, three years later, while British troops were on their way to Egypt to crush the uprising of Ahmed Arabi, an army officer who had overthrown the khedive.

Egypt in 1882, in fact, furnishes some quite uncanny parallels with Iraq in 2003. Britain was going in to rescue the country from tyranny and mismanagement. She had a ‘coalition’ along with her: initially, at any rate. She was acting on behalf of the international community (what Gladstone called the ‘Concert of Europe’), not – perish the thought! – her own narrow interests. She had no desire for territory, and would withdraw as soon as a ‘reformed’ government had been set up. She was foiled in that, howevere, by nationalist and Muslim fundamentalist opposition, and had to continue in Egypt for years thereafter, ruling through puppets. We don’t know if the last part is going to be repeated in the Iraq case. But the rest – with a little tweaking at the edges – seems to fit quite well.

…

So: What are the similarities? We must be clear about this. There is something in the argument that America is less “imperialist” – by some definitions of that contentious word – than she might be. She certainly has no particular desire to rule other countries; to take over their governments, install her own proconsuls and gallivant around in Jodhpurs and pith helmets, lording it over the ‘natives’ in these obvious ways. She has no craving for foreign territory (apart from Military bases). This is probably what Rumsfeld, Cheney and the rest are getting at. Her ordinary people are not, on the whole imperialistic. All her leaders want to do is to make American safe from attack or rivalry, secure her vast economic interests, and – the more ambitious and magnanimous of them – spread America “values”, like freedom and democracy in the world. This is not the same as going out and conquering other nations for the sake of it.

The problem is, however, that that isn’t the only way imperialism works. It certainly wasn’t the way the nineteenth- century British empire worked. We have seen one example already: Britain’s denial of her own imperial motives for much of that century, just like America today, even while she was out “doing” empire, in effect. There are other comparisons. Nineteenth century Britain also though herself as the bees knees in terms of both material prosperity and liberal progress and she was anxious to spread both in the world. She was (or claimed to be) benevolent in her intentions. She talked a lot about “freeing people”. This is certainly not an ‘exceptional’ attribute of the United States. She also saw nothing ‘imperialist’ about defending her vital economic interests in the world (the Suez Canal in the Egyptian case) and pushing free trade. The great majority of her people were probably no more imperialistic than modern middle Americans are. When she took over other countries, it was usually reluctantly, after all other measures had failed, and ruling through puppets, as in Egypt. This doesn’t look so very different from what the American are doing today. Even on Gladstone’s own terms – and it is possible to be cynical about these as it is about America’s motives – all historians count this as imperialism in Britain’s case. Future historians will probably come to the same verdict about present-day America.

There are other similarities. Both imperialisms had cynical and self-serving motives as well as honorable ones. Some of these were Identical – like oil. Racism, evangelism, ‘masculinsm’ and violence played a part in both. Many of the problems each country met with in the course of its global expansion were similar: foreign threats, sometimes requiring “preemptive strikes”; ‘failed states’; and the rise of religious – specifically Muslim – fundamentalism. So were the ideologies that supported and opposed the spread of empire: there were in the late nineteenth-century clear echoes of “Straussianism”, the philosophy attached to the name of the late political theorist Leo Strauss that is supposed to lie behind the more extreme forms of modern American expansionism; and anti-imperialist ideology that has scarcely changed since J.A. Hobson published his economic critiques of empire in 1902. One interesting incidental coincidence is many of the late nineteenth century imperialist ideaolgues came from outside Britain originally, just as many of Americans modern imperialists, including Leo Strauss and Niall Ferguson, were, or are, immigrants and expatriates. Both Empires provoked similar resentments in the outside world. Many people reading about nineteenth century British imperialism from today’s vantage point, in fact, will be struck by these coincidences which are far greater and more numerous than those between the American and any other empire in history.

There are differences too. We have already mentioned the ‘territorial’ one. It is arguable, however, that some of the other make modern America seem more imperialist than nineteenth-century Britain, not less. She is certainly more dominating than Britain ever was, for example, even in relative terms. Britain was never a lone superpower and never had the overwhelming military might America possesses today. She was also probably less militaristic than the present day America. This makes a difference to the United States perception, at and rate, at what can be achieved through brute force.

I’d love to type the entire article and may do so over time if I can obtain permission (I’m sure there’s a copyright law to cover that), but it’s quite excellent. He makes some pro-aristocracy cultural observations which I don’t totally agree with, but over all his observations are scarily spot on, including his conclusion:

Then, of course, there is the ultimate lesson: Every previous empire has ‘declined and fallen’. This seems to be the iron law of empires. British imperialists of the late nineteenth century, all weaned on Gibbon (Blogger’s note: Of Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire fame), used to think they could buck it by being ‘uniquely magnanimous’, just like the Americans profess their own foreign interventions to be. It did not work for them (Blogger’s note: Or the French, or the Spanish, or the Dutch, or the Soviets, the Alexandrian Greeks, or… etc., etc. etc.) It may not work (Blogger’s note: probably won’t!) for the Americans. This could be the reason why may of the overtly expansionist of them – the Straussians, for example – avoid the “I word” so assiduously. Rather like the name of ‘the Scottish Play’, it carries a curse with it.

And that's another thing. It seems that many Americans, including our current administration, cannot see that political and economic dominance move in cycles. Once upon a time, the ancient Sumerians were on top. Their empire fell and collapsed. Once upon a time the Romans were on top. Their empire fell and collapsed. Once upon a time the British were on top. Their empire fell but they did not completely collapse as their country of origin survived, though not nearly the economic powerhouse that it was. "I am Oyzamdias, King of Kings..." We’re on top right now and if we do not plan for the fall, if we do not stop repeating the mistakes other civilizations/cultures have made, we could find ourselves in a world of hurt.

Kip's Commandments

As inspired by recent goings-on on one of the other boards I frequent.

Kip’s Commandments:

I. Thou shalt be nice to people (ie, don’t kill them, steal from them, cheat on them, lie to them, run over their pets, etc.)
II. Thou shalt never start a fight, but always finish it.
III. Thou shalt learn from your mistakes, not pretend you never made them.
IV. Thou shalt, look, listen (I’m still working on that one), experience and learn as much as possible all the time.
V. Thou shalt not judge other’s lifestyle choices, the Divine can handle that on his/her/its own. Really.
VI. Thou shalt not value money and possessions over family, friends and experiences.
VII. Thou shalt be kind to all animals, even the ones you eat, or I will personally rip your sadistic lungs out. In fact that shalt be kind to all beings that are at your mercy or I will remove your head Predator-style.
VIII. Thou shalt be honest about yourself.
IX. Thou shalt strive to continually grow and be the best person you can be.
X. Thou shalt take time to connect with whatever divine power that you worship.

Additional Commandments:

XI. Thou shalt not put raisins in my oatmeal cookies.
XII. Thou shalt not crowd, harry, poke, clutch, capture, flash (sorry Dale, but it so banal), annoy, hassle or stalk the drivers.
XIII. Thou shalt not express your appreciation for the female form by honking at lady joggers at 5 am in the morning. Not only will they not appreciate the sentiment, they will want to beat in your headlights for giving them a heart attack.
XIV. Thou shalt not litter! Not only are actually making an effort to say "Fuck you" to the environment, you are saying "Fuck you" to the people in the neighborhood where you toss out your trash.
XV. Thou shalt not rev your car or motorcycle to show off. Nobody wants you.
XVI. Thou shalt not play your car stereo loud before brunch time. No one appreciates your basebox at 6 am.
XVII. Thou shalt remember thy towel and keep it holy.
XVIII. Thou shalt not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
XIX. Thou shalt listen to Ivanova. Thou shalt not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is god. And, if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip thine lungs out.
XX. Thou shalt always follow thy fish.

;)

"I am the terror flaps in the night!"

Cars, Books and Cell Phones...

~A couple drivers who got ousted from their 2004 rides that I am keeping my eye on:

Ricky Craven
I first noticed Ricky because he was from Maine, my home state. But I also liked him because he was low key, down to earth and in it for the racing, a rather refreshing change of pace considering the hoopla many of the Young Guns cause around themselves. I also hear the charity snowmobile day he does every year is a lot of fun. They booted Ricky out of the 32 last year because of lack of performance, but when Bobby Hamilton Jr. got in it, they didn’t do any better, suggesting it was the TideRide that blew, not the driver. Ricky has moved onto the Craftsman Truck series now, racing for Roush. I read in an article recently about his “stepping down” out of the fishbowl of Cup racing to the Trucks where he said “I had forgotten this was fun!”

Ward Burton

Lots of people make fun of “Wahd Bootin’” because he literally sounds like you would imagine General Robert E. Lee sounding like. (Truth is sometimes I find him easier to understand than the fast slur of Carolina Mountain accent.) But the reason I like Ward is because of his environmental work and he seems to be a rather quietly unique individual. The former Daytona 500 winner doesn’t have a ride at the moment something his brother Jeff attributed to (getting) “caught up in the fact that people want to hire 12 year-olds. They don't want to hire a guy who has experience. They want to hire a kid who doesn't know anything.” (and with some of the teenage development deals in the works, that’s not really an exaggeration). Which is simply a shame on so many levels. Though I think he is being a bit of a snob for not taking a Busch or Truck ride, I’m waiting to see him back on the track.

~Good Omens Great Reading! – Neil Gaiman is one of the most creative people currently walking around on the planet. I was an avid fan of the Sandman comic book series, probably the single most thought provoking and literate graphic novel ever written. Yes, yes, it’s a comic book, but this was the medium taken to it’s absolute height of artistry, story-telling and expression. I have never heard of another comic book where Death has a floppy hat collection, a mythical place decides to take on human form and wander around earth for kicks (and was only supporting player who appeared twice during the entire run for the book), Destruction quits and gets creative, Emperor Norton the I was the result of a bet and ancient Gods either return to the Dreaming from whence they came…or walk the earth as travel agents. Like some alien anthropologist making you think about life, the universe and everything by turning reality on it's ear. Just a mind-blowing work.

Anyway, while I really enjoy SciFi in the visual mediums (Babylon 5, Star Trek: Next Gen, Firefly), my sister is the one with her finger on the pulse of the SciF literary world and will toss books she really likes my way. Sometime I will read them and sometimes I won’t. Things like Snowcrash I devoured, but the Cryptonomicon was too dense of me to take on recreationally (at least at that time, now that it’s a series with a lot of history involved I may retackle it). Gaiman has written books since he retired the Sandman series, but American Gods was a little too random to capture my interest so a few months ago she lent me Good Omens which Gaiman wrote with SciFi author Terry Pratchet. I only cracked it open this week.

Oh. My. Gods. I have not laughed so hard in an age.

The story is: What if Armageddon got really screwed up?

So far in my reading Satan’s minions have mixed up the anti-Christ with another child and one demon & one angel got blindingly drunk and decided they actually liked it here better than both their respective realms...

“"We'll win, of course," Aziraphale said.
"You don't want that," said the demon.
"Why not, pray?"
"Listen," said Crowley desperately. "how many musicians do you think your side have got, eh? First grade, I mean."
Aziraphale looked taken aback.
"Well, I should think--" he began.
"Two," said Crowley. "Elgar and Liszt. That's all. We've got the rest. Beethoven, Brahms, all the Bachs, Mozart, the lot. Can you imagine eternity with Elgar?"
Aziraphale shut his eyes. "All too easily," he groaned.” ~ Good Omens

...so they are working against the “ineffable” plan by working the loopholes in the rules.

If you enjoy Monty-python/Douglas Adam-esque randomness of British humor, you have GOT to read this book.

~Student Suspended for Recording Teachers Classroom Outburst

Video Here

So instead of disciplining the teacher for violating the students civil rights, The Schools administration suspends the student who “caught it on tape”? Talk about missing the point!

Yes, Patriotism is good, but students actually have a legal right not to stand for the anthem or take the Pledge of Allegiance. Jehovah’s Witnesses for example, do not believe in acting in any ritual they might be construed as worship unless it is for God and God alone. As long as the student is not disruptive, they can refuse to take part in those activities.

Probably this student was just being an ass, but the teacher obviously had no control over the class or his own temper. The fact that they thought to record his behavior indicates that his yelling was a consistant behavior pattern. Yes, teenagers are very provoking sometimes (Gawd knows I was), but if you cannot create a rapport with them (usually by giving them respect) and handle their more annoying moments, if you cannot control a class by commanding respect, and this teacher has obviously lost both respect and control, then you shouldn’t be teaching high school.

I agree that cell phones should be turned off during class so as not to be disruptive and to prohibit cheating (and most college professors now have come up truly imaginative ways of getting students to do so. My Modern Civ professor will make you stand up and sing for the class if your cell phone goes off), but they are also a very useful tool for a child’s protection allowing them to contact their parents or authorities in case of emergency and in this case, providing evidence of an authority figures emotional instability and potential for abuse.

The administration should have given the student detention for being unruly and sent the instructor for anger management training, not suspending the student for ten days for recording the incident and not disciplining the instructor at all.

What is also frightening about this is the threat that was implied on the student for not participating in “patriotic displays”. Is that really what America is about? “Stand for the National Anthem or else”? Is that really patriotism? America is not about a flag or a song, it’s about freedom and that means the freedom to practice one’s faith or to make a political statement by not participating.

As one poster on Fark.com put it “The La-and of the Fr...NO SITTING!” ~ Orlphar

Damn near blew my tea out my nose.

How It Should Be Done

~Lebanon's Government Falls Amid Surging Street Protests

BEIRUT — The Syrian-backed government of Lebanon collapsed Monday under a groundswell of street protests, candlelight vigils and international pressure to end Damascus' domination of its neighbor.

While thousands of demonstrators thronged the streets outside, Prime Minister Omar Karami, an ally of Syria, stood before parliament and announced that he would quit his job and dismantle his Cabinet. The decision was apparently spontaneous. Pro-Syrian lawmakers appeared stunned and members of the opposition rose in a standing ovation.

The resignation was a triumph for the growing Lebanese opposition, which has been calling for Syria to withdraw its soldiers and disentangle its intelligence services from Lebanon's institutions. Tensions had been mounting since the Feb. 14 assassination of former Lebanese Prime Minister Rafik Hariri, which many blamed on Syria.

The fall of the government marked a rare flexing of public will in the Arab world, where similar protests have been brutally suppressed...

"It was a burden on our shoulders and now it has been released. Let others carry the burden," the pro-Damascus minister said. "The main thing is that we did this without spilling blood."

Now THAT’S how a regime change should go! Yes!

Breaches of ethical issues in Iraq aside, it ‘s difficult being an American trying to figure out how much or how little we should act when it comes to tyrannical foreign powers. One’s gut reaction is to help people, help anyone in need. That we didn’t do so in Dafur is heartwrenching.

But there is also a good argument to let these countries decide their own fate. As we have seen in Chile, Panama, the former republics of Yugoslavia, Iraq and many others, too often the “liberators” or “advisors” become the oppressors, shaping the new government and pulling it strings long after the marching bands have gone home. The problems they think they are resolving they are simply setting on the back stove to simmer for a long, long time only to re-erupt when they have gone home. Western interference in the Middle East after the collapse of the Ottoman Empire during WWI directly shaped much of the troubles that haunt the area today and our continued interference in the region gives some credence to the anti-American hatred. (Not complete, but some.)

Ideally, in my opinion, every populace under adverse political situations will evetually take matters into their own hands to change it and they won’t truly be free until they do so. For example, during the American Civil War the Union freed the slaves, but it wasn’t until the Jim Crow laws were challenged by Civil Rights groups in the 1950’s and 60’s that Blacks took their rights as free citizens equal to all. If a people don’t fight for freedom themselves, they do not appreciate it and will more readily throw it away. Iraq after WWI is an example of this as I have explained in an earlier entry. Britain "liberated" Iraq from the Ottoman Empire, forming a parliamentary monarchal government and remained in country pulling strings and shaping the government for over 40 years. When they left, from 1958 to 1979 Iraq was subject to as series of military coups that left Saddam Hussien in power (with our assistance). Perhaps if the Iraqui people had won their own freedom from the Ottoman Empire, they would not have been so tolerant of military dictators stripping away their rights in their endless struggles for dominance. They would have guarded their freedom more carefully and would have been a more stable government as a result.

Yet in my History of the Middle East class, several Iranian students and the professor said they were mad at President Carter for not acting in the 1979 revolution that removed the Shah from power and established the government of the Ayatollah. And do not the deaths so those under a murderous regime fall on our conscience while we wait for thing to take their course?

So where is the line? Where should we act and were shouldn’t we? How should we act and how shouldn’t we? Obviously such decisions should be made on a situational basis, but there must be some criteria we can establish so that we, the public of both the United States and whatever country we have decided to help, knows that we are going in with good intentions. Ideally, that was what the UN was for: a world court to decide when intervention was necessary, but in the case of Dafur it’s proved itself completely inadequate to the task.

It’s a very complicated and sticky question and I don’t know of any answers, do you?

The only thing I know to do at this point is to pray for the Lebanese. As the article outlines their difficulties are far from over and bloodshed may still possibly lurk in their future. But may the divine bless them for getting this far without it and the Divine watch over them as they shape their future.

~Cup teams are off this weekend while NASCAR tries a grand experiment bringing the Busch series to Mexico. I see we have some local talent in there as well. This could be very interesting. ;)

While I understand that with the switch over, Dale needs to focus on his team especially now, I have to admit to being a little disappointed/worried that he will not be taking part. He also turned down the 24 hours at Daytona. I hope this is something that is temporary as part of the transition and that he is not, or does not feel that he is, limiting his opportunities of racing fun.

~It is a sad day: WKRP in Cincinati not to be released on DVD.

Noooooooooooo!

On a positive note: This prompted the quote of the day from Fark.com:

"I used to be in the radio business. Other than the fact that the WKRP DJ's never wore headphones, that show is nearly 100% accurate. It is a business full of weasels, stoners, and stoned weasels, plus a few weirdos, and of course a few stoned wierdos. That's all I remember of radio, but hey, I was stoned the whole time." ~ Bo n' Luke

~Licence Plate Frame o' The Day: Yes, I'm a bitch, just not yours.